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Quick answer: Why do toddlers want to help? Studies of 1- and 2-year-olds suggest the urge to pitch in is real, starts early, and does not seem to depend on rewards: toddlers in lab studies joined adults' chores and handed over dropped objects without being asked or paid. Most of this evidence comes from small lab experiments and a few home studies, so it describes what many toddlers do on average, not what any one child will do.
Key takeaways
- In a 1982 study, children aged 18 to 30 months spontaneously joined adults in most household tasks.
- In 2006, 18-month-olds helped an adult reach a goal in a variety of situations without any reward.
- In one 2008 experiment, toddlers given a material reward for helping later helped less than toddlers who were praised or given nothing.
- Encouragement, thanks and doing chores together were linked to more helping in home and lab studies.
- Telling kids to "be a helper" increased helping in one study but backfired after mistakes in another.
When do toddlers start wanting to help?
One of the first studies came from developmental psychologist Harriet Rheingold in 1982. She ran two studies in a laboratory set up like a home. Parents and other adults were asked to do common household chores while researchers recorded what the children did. In the first study the children were 24 months old; in the second they were 18, 24 and 30 months old.
In both studies, the children spontaneously and promptly joined in with most of the tasks the adults did. They talked about what they were doing, seemed to understand what each task was for, and sometimes added steps the adults had not shown them. Rheingold argued that this was an early form of prosocial behavior: the children seemed aware of themselves as working with someone toward a shared goal.
A later home study supports the same picture. Audun Dahl (2015) studied 11- to 25-month-olds in middle-class U.S. families: 76 mothers described their child's helping, and researchers videotaped everyday interactions in 51 families. From around the first birthday, most infants were helping at home, and their helping was often met with encouragement, thanks or praise.
Helping without a reward: the Warneken and Tomasello experiments
In 2006, Felix Warneken and Michael Tomasello published a short paper in Science testing whether very young children would help an adult who was struggling with a simple task. In one scenario described by the Max Planck Institute, the researcher was hanging up laundry and dropped a clothespin out of his reach; he never asked the child for help and gave no thanks or reward. Children as young as 18 months readily helped in a variety of situations. When the researcher threw the clothespin down on purpose, the children did not pick it up, which suggests they were responding to his goal, not just fetching objects. The authors noted that this needs two things at once: understanding what the other person is trying to do, and wanting to help them do it. Three young chimpanzees showed similar but less robust helping.
Later work from the same lab looked at what the children seemed to care about. In a 2012 study, Robert Hepach, Amrisha Vaish and Tomasello measured 2-year-olds' pupil size, a sign of arousal. The children's responses looked similar when they helped a person themselves and when they watched someone else help that person, and different when the person was not helped at all. The authors read this as concern for the other person, not a wish to get credit.
What happened when toddlers were rewarded for helping?
In 2008, Warneken and Tomasello gave 20-month-olds chances to help an adult. During a first phase, some toddlers received a material reward for helping, some received praise, and some received nothing. In a later test phase, the toddlers who had been given material rewards were less likely to keep helping than the toddlers who had been praised or given nothing.
The authors described it as an overjustification effect: once helping has been paid, a child may start to treat it as something done for the payoff. That fits a long line of research on rewards and interest, which we cover in do reward charts work?
A material reward · Later helping: Less likely to keep helping. Toddlers who had been given a material reward helped less in the later test phase.
Keep the limits in view. This was one lab experiment with 20-month-olds, and we found no published direct, independent replication as of November 2026. It does not show that praise is harmful, and it says nothing about reward charts for routines that older children find hard.
Does encouragement help or hurt?
If material rewards can backfire, what about praise and encouragement? Here the evidence leans the other way. In a longitudinal experiment, Dahl, Goeltz and Brownell (2022) visited 83 infants aged 6 to 9 months at home for up to 10 weekly visits. Infants whose experimenter used explicit encouragement or praise handed over out-of-reach objects more often than infants in a control group, and younger infants also helped clean up more. The effect was small, and helping also rose with age and with each visit.
A German lab study by Joscha Kärtner, Marta Giner Torréns and Nils Schuhmacher (2020) followed 38 parent-child pairs from 12 to 24 months. Parents' modeling at 12 months and praise at 15 months predicted toddlers' helping three months later, and modeling at 18 months predicted helping toward a new adult at 21 months. The samples are small, but the direction is consistent: parental encouragement, modeling and praise go with more helping, not less.
"Be a helper": does the wording matter?
Christopher Bryan, Allison Master and Gregory Walton (2014) tested a subtle change in wording with 149 children aged 3 to 6. In two experiments, some children heard about "being a helper" and others about "helping". Children in the "helper" condition helped more across four tasks than children in the "helping" condition or a baseline group. The authors suggest that the noun invites children to see helping as part of who they are.
A follow-up to the 'be a helper' study added an important twist. Foster-Hanson, Cimpian, Leshin and Rhodes (2020) studied 139 children aged 4 and 5. After children experienced setbacks, such as spilling while pretending to pour milk, those asked to "be helpers" had more negative attitudes, and in a second study they helped less after running into difficulties. Together, the two papers suggest identity language can motivate and can also sting when things go wrong, which they often do with young children. Both studies tested preschoolers, not toddlers.
Helping looks different in different families
Studies of children helping with chores in different countries suggest helping is shaped by everyday practice, not only by age. Marta Giner Torréns and Joscha Kärtner (2017) compared 18-month-olds in Delhi, India (32 toddlers), and Münster, Germany (60 toddlers). The Delhi toddlers helped more in three out-of-reach tasks. Delhi mothers reported giving their toddlers more chances to help in the family, praising less, and responding more punitively when a helping request was not followed. The links between specific parenting practices and helping were not the same in the two cities, which is a reminder that no one approach fits every family.
Barbara Rogoff and her colleagues have studied children's initiative in family work in Mexico. In one small interview study (Coppens and colleagues, 2014), almost all of the 16 children aged 9 and 10 said children want to contribute to household work. Children from an Indigenous-heritage community more often described taking initiative on broad, complex tasks and coordinating with family members, while children from a newly schooled community more often focused on their own contributions. Both groups describe different family practices, not better or worse ones.
What the research doesn't show, including why kids stop helping
These studies are small, most come from a few labs in the U.S. and Germany, and the longest followed children for about a year (from 12 to 24 months). They show what many toddlers do, not how helping develops through childhood. Some parents notice that an eager 2-year-old becomes a less eager 7-year-old. No study we found has tracked that change directly, so treat what follows as an interpretation of the studies above, not a finding. Helping went with being included, seeing adults do the work, and being encouraged and thanked. When a toddler's offers are often turned down because their help is slow or messy, or when helping becomes something paid for with treats, the early urge may have less to grow on. For older kids who now resist jobs, our guide to kids who won't do chores has practical steps.
Try this at home
- Say yes to small offers. Give your toddler a real piece of the job, such as carrying socks to the basket or handing you clothespins. Our chores for toddlers guide has ideas sized for little hands.
- Do it together. Rheingold's toddlers joined in while adults were doing the chores, and parents' modeling predicted later helping in the Kärtner study. Narrate what you are doing so your child can see where to join.
- Thank, don't pay. A warm "thank you, that helped" fits the research better than a sweet or sticker for each helpful act.
- Use "helping" language that survives mistakes. Illustrative script: "You helped me carry the towels. The basket tipped over, so let's fix it together." Describe the action rather than labeling the child.
- Save stars for routines they resist. If you use a chart, aim it at tasks your child does not already enjoy, such as teeth-brushing, and see our positive reinforcement examples for gentler options.
- Keep inviting as they grow. Preschoolers can take on more of a task; the chores for preschoolers guide and our chores for kids hub cover the next steps.
For the bigger picture on whether chores matter later in life, see what the kids who do chores study really found, and for keeping motivation from the inside, our post on how to encourage intrinsic motivation in children.
Stars for the routines, thanks for the helping
Star Chart Kids is a free routine and chore chart, best for ages 3 to 12. A parent creates a username and parent passcode (no email or payment required), and progress is saved on the device and synced to the cloud. It works best for routines kids find hard, like Morning and Bedtime quests. For the helping your toddler already loves, a thank-you is enough.
Frequently asked questions
Why do toddlers want to help so much?
Studies suggest the urge is real and starts early. Toddlers aged 18 to 30 months joined adults' chores without being asked, and 18-month-olds helped an adult reach a goal without any reward. Researchers think it reflects both caring about other people's goals and wanting to take part in shared family activity.
Should you reward toddlers for helping?
Thanks and warm praise look fine; a toy or treat for each helpful act may not be. In one lab experiment, 20-month-olds who received a material reward for helping later helped less than toddlers who were praised or given nothing. It is a single study, so treat it as a caution, not a rule.
Why does my toddler want to help with everything?
Toddlers watch what adults do and want to join in. In a 2015 study of middle-class U.S. families, most infants were helping at home from around their first birthday, and their helping was often met with encouragement, thanks or praise.
Does saying 'be a helper' work?
Possibly, but with a catch. A 2014 study of 3- to 6-year-olds found that children invited to 'be a helper' helped more than children asked 'to help'. A 2020 study of 4- and 5-year-olds found the same wording backfired after children failed at a task. In the 2020 study, the drop showed up in children asked to 'be helpers', not in those asked 'to help', so describing the action ('you helped') looks like the safer choice.
Why do kids stop wanting to help?
No study we found has tracked this decline directly, so any answer is partly a guess. The research points to things that support helping, such as being included in real tasks, seeing adults do the work, and being encouraged and thanked. When those fade, or helping is paid with treats, the urge may have less to grow on.
Sources and further reading
- Little Children's Participation in the Work of Adults, a Nascent Prosocial Behavior (Child Development (Rheingold, 1982))
- Altruistic Helping in Human Infants and Young Chimpanzees (Science (Warneken & Tomasello, 2006))
- Extrinsic rewards undermine altruistic tendencies in 20-month-olds (Developmental Psychology (Warneken & Tomasello, 2008))
- Baby's helping hands: first evidence for altruistic behaviours in human infants and chimpanzees (Max Planck Society news release (March 2, 2006))
- Young Children Are Intrinsically Motivated to See Others Helped (Psychological Science (Hepach, Vaish & Tomasello, 2012))
- The Developing Social Context of Infant Helping in Two U.S. Samples (Child Development (Dahl, 2015))
- Scaffolding the emergence of infant helping: A longitudinal experiment (Child Development (Dahl, Goeltz & Brownell, 2022))
- Parental structuring during shared chores and the development of helping across the second year (Social Development (Kärtner, Giner Torréns & Schuhmacher, 2020))
- “Helping” Versus “Being a Helper”: Invoking the Self to Increase Helping in Young Children (Child Development (Bryan, Master & Walton, 2014))
- Asking Children to “Be Helpers” Can Backfire After Setbacks (Child Development (Foster-Hanson, Cimpian, Leshin & Rhodes, 2020))
- The Influence of Socialization on Early Helping From a Cross-Cultural Perspective (Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology (Giner Torréns & Kärtner, 2017))
- Children's Initiative in Family Household Work in Mexico (Human Development (Coppens, Alcalá, Mejía-Arauz & Rogoff, 2014))