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Quick answer: The best non-material rewards for kids fall into four categories: experiences (park trip, baking together), privileges (stay up 15 minutes later, pick the movie), one-on-one time (solo breakfast date with a parent), and 'power' rewards (plan the dinner menu, be in charge of the playlist). Research on happiness consistently finds experiences beat possessions — and they never escalate in price.
Why non-toy rewards work better
Three reasons. First, escalation: material rewards suffer hedonic adaptation — the thrill fades, so the next prize must be bigger, and the ladder eventually prices you out. Experiences don't inflate; the fifteenth movie-night pick is as good as the first. Second, consumer research (Gilovich and colleagues' work is the classic) finds experiences generate more durable happiness than possessions — for adults and kids alike. Third, half the list below is secretly connection, and connection is the thing most kid misbehaviour is bidding for anyway.
How many stars should each cost? Price small rewards to be reachable within days, bigger ones within weeks — reachability rules are covered in the reward chart guide.
Experiences (1–15)
- Trip to the playground of their choice
- Bake anything together — they pick the recipe
- Picnic dinner on the living-room floor
- Bike ride to get a hot chocolate
- Library trip with unlimited checkout
- Build a blanket fort that's allowed to stay up overnight
- Backyard camping / balcony stargazing
- Swimming pool trip
- They plan a full family game night
- Nature scavenger hunt they help design
- Visit a pet shop or animal shelter "just to look"
- Breakfast picnic before school on a Friday
- A 'yes hour' — within reason, answers default to yes
- Movie night with homemade tickets and popcorn stand
- Cook-off: kid vs. parent, other parent judges
Privileges (16–30)
- Stay up 15 minutes past bedtime
- Pick the movie for family night
- Choose Saturday breakfast for everyone
- Front seat privileges for a week (age permitting)
- Skip one chore card, one time (a classic 'power-up')
- Dessert before dinner, once
- Extra bedtime story / chapter
- Friend sleepover
- Pajama day at home
- Their music in the car, no vetoes
- Pick their seat at the dinner table for a week
- Bath with all the toys and extra bubbles
- Hot lunch of their choosing packed for school
- Late weekend wake-up immunity (no one may wake them)
- One 'get out of tidying the game' pass when a board game ends late
One-on-one time (31–40)
- Solo breakfast date with mom or dad
- 30 minutes of 'you pick, I play' — their game, your full attention
- Hardware-store or market trip as the only kid
- Teach the parent something they're good at (Minecraft counts)
- Cooking dinner as head chef with a parent as assistant
- Look through baby photos and videos together
- A walk after dark with a flashlight
- Joint puzzle with hot chocolate
- They interview you about when you were a kid
- Plan next weekend together, their ideas first
Power rewards (41–50)
Underrated and free: children spend all day being decided for. Handing over legitimate authority is intoxicating.
- Plan the full dinner menu for one night
- Be the family DJ for a whole car trip
- Decide the order of the Saturday errands
- Rename a family ritual (their name sticks)
- Assign one chore to a parent and inspect the result
- Set the theme for family dinner (backwards dinner, fancy dinner, robot dinner)
- Choose the destination for the next family outing
- Control the thermostat/lighting scene for movie night
- Be 'the boss' of the tidy-up song and pace
- Design the next reward to go on the chart (parent approval applies)
Where do these plug in? Anywhere behaviour needs a payoff: chore charts, morning checklists, or as the allowance alternative for families who'd rather not pay cash — that debate lives in should kids get paid for chores? The evidence on why the payoff side matters at all: do reward charts work?
Custom rewards in Star Chart
Every idea on this list can be a custom real-life reward in Star Chart: parents set the star price, kids save toward it, and claiming sends an approval request — so nothing gets promised that can't be delivered. Alongside them sits the built-in shop of collectible pets and avatar gear: rewards that cost you nothing, never escalate, and never need batteries.
Frequently asked questions
Are food rewards a bad idea?
Routine candy-for-behaviour is worth avoiding — pediatric guidance warns it can wire food to emotions and undermine hunger cues. Occasional food experiences (baking together, dessert-before-dinner as a novelty) are different: the reward is the event, not the sugar.
What are good rewards for teenagers?
Privileges and autonomy: later curfew, extra driving practice, hosting friends, a subscription month, budget control for a family purchase. Teen reward systems work on respect, not stickers — see our chores-for-teenagers post.
How big should a reward be?
Smaller and more frequent beats bigger and rarer, especially under age 8 — a young child's motivation horizon is days, not months. A good ladder: several tiny weekly rewards, one medium monthly one, and an occasional big saving goal they chose themselves.
Sources and further reading
- To Do or to Have? That Is the Question (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Van Boven & Gilovich, 2003))
- What's the Best Way to Discipline My Child? (HealthyChildren.org, American Academy of Pediatrics)